Baby Boomer Woes

Baby Boomer Woes
attributed to Jack Kolb Dept. of English, UCLA
Then		Now
Killer weed		Weed killer
Paar		AARP
The Grateful Dead		Dr. Kevorkian
Being caught with Hustler magazine		Being caught by Hustler magazine
Hoping for a BMW		Hoping for a BM
Getting your head stoned		Getting your headstone
Keg		EKG
Passing the driving test		Passing the vision test
Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your folks.		Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.
Swallowing acid		Swallowing antacid
Obsessing over your PSAT scores		Obsessing over your PSA scores
You're growing pot		Your growing pot
Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor		Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
The perfect high		The perfect high-yield mutual fund
Long hair		Longing for hair
Fighting to get rid of the lying president		Fighting to keep the lying president
President Johnson		The president's johnson
Acid rock		Acid reflux

and some extras from ???
Getting out to a new, hip joint		Getting a new hip joint
Moving to California because it's cool		Moving to California because it's warm
Seeds and stems		Roughage
Being called into the principal's office		Storming into the principal's office
Peace Sign		Mercedes logo
OJ, cutting & slashing		OJ, cutting & slashing
Worrying about no one coming to your party		Worrying about no one coming to your funeral
Popping pills, smoking joints		Popping joints
"Off the pigs"		"No bacon please, I am watching my cholesterol"
Our president's struggle with Fidel		Our president's struggle with fidelity
Elvis in the army		Elvis in a UFO